Thursday, September 10, 2009

Getting this out

Maybe if I start putting some of my frustrations on here, they won't stay with me so much.

So I've a bunch of brothers, we all get along really well. In fact, my youngest two bros and I have been doing lotsa man stuff, and it really feels good. Has helped me in the whole "not feeling like a man department".

Anyways Bro number 4 out of 5, and I talk about relationships. He is on a personal mission to get me married. Not the favorite thing to talk about, but oh well. He has a girlfriend, and they've been having a little fight lately. I've been trying to see why so I can help out.

He didn't want to tell me.

Finally a couple days ago, he told me. She's mad at him, cause he said he hates gays and she is more compassionate toward them. Of course he doesn't know about me, and I don't self identify as gay, but the venom he attached to his words was tangible. I tried to help him get a better perspective the best i could without revealing anything about me. But it really hurt. I don't make friends all that easily and my youngest two bros are probably my best friends.

Luckily it things take a long time to sink in, so it wasn't for a few days that it hit me. It came to the surface during one of my depressive bouts, and it sucked; it stung; it tore me up inside.

I'm sure we'll still be friends, but this really hurt.

Just wanted to get this all out. I think I feel better just by having written it down.

1 comment:

  1. I understand the pain you feel. I wonder how some of those, who we love and who profess to love us, would feel about what they have said to us if they knew our 'secret.'

    Sorry for your hurt.