Monday, June 2, 2014

Spent saturday at the northstar conference for gay mormons

or mormons with ssa, whatever you wanna call it.

Now days it almost seems like the difference between Mormon and latter-day saint.

anyway. It was really good. The feeling of community was great. Being around people who understand you, who also share similar experiences and goals was great.

Tom Christofferson, D.Todd"s bro, was there on a panel. He's in a same sex relationship, but has been going to church. His bishop was on the same panel and talked about how they welcomed him, made him feel comfortable. and did all they could within the framework of the gospel to include him, and his partner. I do not intend to have a partner, but it was neat to see them take Tom where he is at, and try to minister to him, help him become more like Christ, instead of rejecting him.

Follow that up with sunday. I have a meeting with a counselor in the bishopric. The topic turns to the conference, and he's like "well did they have classes about dating", "did they help you want to date more" "well then what did you learn' his whole thing was that it needs to help gay mormons learn how to date girls.... Does the think i don't' know the steps of dating. I've pretended to be a normal straight mormon for years. I can go through the steps. I just don't have any interest in it.

I told him the church's own materials say that marriage should not be used at a therapeutic step for same sex attraction, and all he said was "well ty mansfield got married" The idea that the only support and help members of the church with ssa need is to learn how to date women better was really annoying. such contrast to how the weekend had been.

anyway, that's my report. i loved the conference. Before we minister to peopel we need to be their friends, adn before we are their friends we ourselves need to have a solid connection with God.


  1. I am sorry about how your meeting when with your counselor. It's appalling to me that he would use the experience of one person as reason to think that just "anyone can do it." It shows that he seems to not understand exactly how complex sexual orientation is. And the fact that he completely ignored your argument that was provided on an official church website tells me he cares little about understanding the complexity.

    Is this your first time meeting with him? I really would question whether or not you should meet with him again.

    1. Thanks Evan, i've met with him multiple times, this is the first time i spoke freely about my attractions. I didn't try to be combative, but no reason to hide it when asked directly.

      I don't feel the need to meet with im anymore. I think i'm doing ok being gay.

  2. Yeah Ty Mansfield's last article in LDS Living "What (and What Not) to Say to Someone Who Experiences Same-sex Attraction" specifically lists not using his story to justify getting married. It's the fourth point under "What Not To Say or Do".

  3. Oh dear. I am glad you corrected the counselor. Looks like we still have a ways to go to inform the local leadership of the church's stance on gay things.

    Glad you enjoyed the conference otherwise.