Monday, October 6, 2014

Topic De Jour

So i want to post my feelings about the supreme court's decision no to review the gay marriage cases in several states, effectively legalizing same sex marriage in those states including Utah, where I live.

This is hard for me, dang hard. I know a lot of my friends are happy with it, and I don't fault them for that. I get why they are excited.

But it hurts me. When i read the news it came in like a wrecking ball outta no where. Court decisions by their very nature are combative, with a winner and loser, they rarely have a compromise, like good legislation, also they often come suddenly. I didn't have time to brace myself for the result.

There are several reasons this pains me, first I hate being at odds with my friends. I dont' like conflict. They are happy, and there is an assumption by some of them that i am also celebrating.

I am not happy with the decision because my belief in the church, and that the Lord doesn't want this, i'm not going to drop that on my friends. I hate trying to use testimony as a trump card in debates. But that doesnt' invalidate that is the reason i am not happy. I don't think Gay marriage is the best for me, or society.

Then again on some level i want it deeply. and suddenly the conflict between my testimony and orientation is publically played out with this decision. Part of me wants to badly to find a spouse.
And finally people who agree with me on gay marriage can be freaking hateful, misinformed and unkind. Suddenly people i love and care about who are opposed to gay marriage will make wonderful comments about how the gays are destroying teh world, or how we are all the most vile sinners. Or how much they hate the f--s. It sucks. People can be so mean. so bigoted. and unChristlike.

I've tried to be open here, i wanted to express why this is hard for me. Not to start a debate. I still respect and love my friends who disagree with me on this, and i'm trying to still respect my friends who think all homosexuals are going to hell.
It's a hard day. I want to just stay in bed, or eat 20 boxes of twinkies covered in nacho cheese sauce, or go deep into a mine. BUt instead i'm at work, at the BYU, and i'm sure the comments will be flying today.